There was this girl in my school who was my friend. We weren’t the best of friends, but we did talk in school. After school, we did not meet up or anything but if we did meet somewhere by coincidence, we always said hi and chatted for a while. She was a shy girl but was good through and through. Her best trait was that she had a kind heart. And then during our PL’s a friend told me about what she’d done.
I was sitting in our college studying for the forthcoming exams. A friend of mine suddenly approached me and asked,” Do you know what happened to Payal (name changed).” I was a little puzzled. I hadn’t heard about Payal for a very long time. Looking at my friends face, I knew it was something bad. I think she read the question mark right off my face because before I could say something, she just blurted out the fact that Payal had committed suicide. I just sat there for a second. I could sense that my friend was expecting some reaction; but I could do nothing. I just sat there digesting the fact that Payal was no more. I expressed my sympathies to my friend and kind of shooed her off. I needed time to think. I needed time to figure out why the death of someone I barely knew and had not seen for a long time had affected me so much.
The reason why she did it is irrelevant. Frankly speaking, she did not mean a lot to me. She was a mere acquaintance, my school mate. Not my best friend or relative whose presence would make a difference in my life. Yet on that day, I could not get myself to do anything. I could not focus. My thoughts came coming back to what Payal had done. Somehow, she had managed to leave a feeling of emptiness in my heart.
I got back to my schedule from the next day. Payal completely vanished from my thoughts. I was back to my books trying to figure out a Wien bridge oscillator. Life was back to where it should be.
Then in the month of January, a bunch of my school friends organized a memorial service for Payal. It was at my school hall. I went there experiencing the same emptiness in my heart all over again. The response was overwhelming. Almost my entire batch was there to express their condolences for Payal and her family. My teachers and her friends expressed their feelings of the loss and pain they felt because of losing her. One of her best friend from school said,” Payal always wanted to meet me at the school’s reunion. I just never thought she would be the reason for all of us meeting here like this.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
I’m not much of an emotional person but that moment made me realize that it really doesn’t matter whether a person is close to you or not. If the person you lost is close to you, you feel their absence, you miss their presence. But if not, all you feel is emptiness, that too at the back of your head. Every person makes a difference in your life by being there and sometimes, by not!
I was sitting in our college studying for the forthcoming exams. A friend of mine suddenly approached me and asked,” Do you know what happened to Payal (name changed).” I was a little puzzled. I hadn’t heard about Payal for a very long time. Looking at my friends face, I knew it was something bad. I think she read the question mark right off my face because before I could say something, she just blurted out the fact that Payal had committed suicide. I just sat there for a second. I could sense that my friend was expecting some reaction; but I could do nothing. I just sat there digesting the fact that Payal was no more. I expressed my sympathies to my friend and kind of shooed her off. I needed time to think. I needed time to figure out why the death of someone I barely knew and had not seen for a long time had affected me so much.
The reason why she did it is irrelevant. Frankly speaking, she did not mean a lot to me. She was a mere acquaintance, my school mate. Not my best friend or relative whose presence would make a difference in my life. Yet on that day, I could not get myself to do anything. I could not focus. My thoughts came coming back to what Payal had done. Somehow, she had managed to leave a feeling of emptiness in my heart.
I got back to my schedule from the next day. Payal completely vanished from my thoughts. I was back to my books trying to figure out a Wien bridge oscillator. Life was back to where it should be.
Then in the month of January, a bunch of my school friends organized a memorial service for Payal. It was at my school hall. I went there experiencing the same emptiness in my heart all over again. The response was overwhelming. Almost my entire batch was there to express their condolences for Payal and her family. My teachers and her friends expressed their feelings of the loss and pain they felt because of losing her. One of her best friend from school said,” Payal always wanted to meet me at the school’s reunion. I just never thought she would be the reason for all of us meeting here like this.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
I’m not much of an emotional person but that moment made me realize that it really doesn’t matter whether a person is close to you or not. If the person you lost is close to you, you feel their absence, you miss their presence. But if not, all you feel is emptiness, that too at the back of your head. Every person makes a difference in your life by being there and sometimes, by not!
